Life may be one BIG Drama, and we, character in it.... But....LIVE IT.....Every moment in it !!?!!
- Aishwarya Rai Bachchan |
Dad was sailing constantly. So mostly, it was mum, brother and me' Even as a child, I was a dreamer. I conjured up my own dreams and created a world of my own. At the same time, I was this sensible kid. In the family, I always spent more time with my aunts and uncles than with my cousins. It was not like a kid trying to be grown up. It was a comfortable atmosphere. My parents had always encouraged open communication. Between the four of us - mom, dad, my brother and I - we were a very closely-knit family unit. Grown-up things were discussed; I don't mean the birds and bees; but family matters, relationships, friends? My dad was on ship, sailing constantly. So, most of the time, it was mum, brother and me. I always behaved more grown up than my brother. Even today, people are surprised that he is older than me. It's very funny. Even in school, my juniors, my classmates and some of my seniors would so naturally discuss their problems with me. I was a very talkative child. I used to speak better than other kids my age. I was always ahead of my time. I got into these little conversations with people and I was convinced that I was putting my point across, even if they were perceived as arguments. 'I loved to watch Chayageet' As a child, I was exposed to a lot of music at home. Various kinds of music. My brother, who is 3 years older to me, obviously put on what he liked. There were no CDs at that time. He'd buy some tapes, he'd record some? pop music, mainly. And my mother used to listen to old Hindi songs. Later on, I also learnt Hindustani Classical and Carnatic music. I loved music and dance. I trained in Bharatanatyam too. I was inclined towards the fine arts right from the beginning. We watched films as kids, but not excessively. It wasn't part of our normal routine. There was television and the Sunday movies, which were the big events of the weekend. After that, you started feeling guilty about your homework for Mondays. I loved to watch Chayageet on Doordarshan and all the Hindi movies. I was enthralled by the magic of cinema even then. Videos were new and it was a big thing to watch the latest movies on them, whenever we could. Films weren't a taboo. They just weren't allowed to be the centrepoint of our lives, just like we weren't allowed to go crazy over chocolates or going to games parks.
'If the occasion demands that I be a chandelier, I will be so' Adolescence is a strange phase. One goes through all kinds of transformations. This was that stage when I'd constantly get into fights with my brother, not because he was my elder brother, but because I now felt on par with him. When I was getting into college, I thought, 'Uh-oh, Elder-Brother Syndrome is going to take over big time!' But after a while, amazingly, we became the best of friends. I was never into fashion really. I don't know if I still am. I was always easy about dressing. If the occasion demands that I be a chandelier, I will be so, impassionately. But the kind of clothes I wear personally is a very different matter. Comfort is the main criterion, and of course, moods. But my clothes are never extravagant. In college, I was very simple in my dressing - just jeans and a shirt or a salwar kameez or something. Biology and Zoology were my favourite subjects, but I didn't see myself making a career in medicine. One needs a kind of dedication for such careers which, at that time, I thought I wouldn't be able to put in. I took up architecture and then developed a love for it as I was studying it. 'The Miss World contest gave me a chance to discover myself' At the time of the Miss India contest, I was 19, just past my Class XII. I was as new as the other 20-odd contestants, but I was already known as Aishwarya Rai, the model. People therefore thought I was Miss Know All because of my experience. I spoke on the stage for the first time during the contest. I was feeling very conscious and people mistook this for attitude and restraint in expression. The Miss World contest also gave me a chance to discover myself. I was there in Sun City for one month with people I didn't know and who didn't know me at all. I was trying to see which qualities of mine would create an impression on these people. I think I found and recognised myself there. I've had my fair share of attention right from childhood. That's why I have never felt the need to grab it. In fact, I almost work at underplay. If you see my body language, I always have one raised shoulder. It means that I'm taking things in, listening to what others have to say, instead of screaming for attention. 'I love being in films' I am enjoying every moment of being in films. It's addictive. I was offered films in my modelling days, but I didn't give acting a shot then because it meant compromising on my studies. The only time I almost gave in to the temptation was in December 1993, when Toy (Dharmesh Darshan) spoke to me about Raja Hindustani. But then, I entered the Miss India contest. Even Rajiv Rai had called me during Mohra. When I look back, I wonder how those films would have been if I had done them. My life would probably not have been the same.
I don't need to pile my plate' Very few people seem to recognise the fact that I am still a newcomer to the film industry. The media has slammed me for the failure of my films and accused me of having manipulated my career to be able to work with the right people. At the same time, when I turned down Indra Kumar's Mann, Sooraj Barjatya's Hum Saath-Saath Hain, Sunny Deol' s London and Priyadarshan's film, people said I was crazy. I am not guilty of any manipulation. I knew that I couldn't do justice to many films at the same time, though they could have done wonders for my career. Some actresses do 10-12 films a year, but I stick to four. I want to complete my pending projects before I take on new ones. I know that here, people want to be secure for the next five years. So they take on everything they are offered. I'm not insecure. I know the films I have on hand are enough, they'll get made. After that, I will sign new films. I'd love to work with a lot of directors. But at the moment, the table's well laid. I don't need to pile my plate. The assurance that there are more items on the menu is good enough. I love films. I love being here. There are no regrets, no complaints. Once in a while, I let my hair down. I'd be lying if I said that I didn't feel the need for time out. When I feel the need for a break, it shows. People give it to me before I can ask. The pace has been frenetic these last five years, but this roller-coaster ride has been a conscious choice. I've had a taste of everything? college life, campus rounds, the catwalk, the Miss World blitz, and now films. It's been perfect. 'B(e) positive is not just a blood group' I'm still in touch with my friends and family. I make time for them. Time has become even more precious, but I use it well. How can I not keep in touch with friends? They're the ones who constantly remind me that I'm me. Aishwarya. I always say, 'B(e) positive is not just a blood group.' Cinema is not just make-believe, it is a real world too. If your attitude is right, it does not matter who you are -- the director, producer, the main lead or the set in-charge. Everyone speaks the same language. Bambaiyya. It is a wonderful world and the emphasis is on wonder. You get to live so many characters. All the people you may never meet in real life, you meet in your films. Once, while shooting abroad, we were dancing in the middle of the street. My co-star was feeling ridiculous. 'Why are we doing this?' he cribbed constantly. I told him, 'Look at it this way. You can use this as an excuse to do anything really stupid and get away with it. All that you can't do in real life, you can express through films. Here you can fool around and enjoy it.'
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